Arnold
Music: Ken Galipeau
Lyrics: Les Barker

Arnold was an armadillo, in oh so in need of romance
That is chanced one Saturday evening Arnold went out to a dance.
The moment he walked in the room, he saw her as if he had known
She'd be there by the side of the stage, all he wanted, all in black, all alone.
She was there she was his dress to kill-o
If only his glasses where cleaner.
He was an armadillo she was a concertina.

He struggled to make conversation, he leap frogged from topic to topic
If only she'd say something back, if only he wasn't myopic
Bright silver buttons in rows, from head down to toes in black leather
Could this beauty love him here goes, poor Arnold thought its now or never.
He could picture her head on his pillow
He loved her the moment he'd seen her
He was an armadillo she was a concertina.

You can't help but feel for the lad-o, how happy poor Arnold would be
If he could make love in the shadows and no one but no one could see.
Alas what he thought might have been-o, a sweet secret was soured completely
Sex with a concertina is rarely accomplished discreetly.
The dancer stopped stripping the willow
Oh what a loud misdemeanor
He was an armadillo she was a concertina.

Picture love as a kind of concerto, poor Arnold his first was unfinished.
What let everyone who was there know, was a very loud C sharp diminished
Somebody said "Hey look its Arnold", and he ran from their scorn and their laughter
Into the darkness outside and never returned ever after.
Tales of lost love and dreams unfulfill-o
Cruel cupid you've never been meaner.
He was an armadillo she was a concertina.
He was an armadillo she was a concertina.